the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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