I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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