waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
