We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
