Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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