And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
