Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
