Dual....:-)
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
