the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
