is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
