Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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