you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
