i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
