the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
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