Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
