i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
