im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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