I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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