You can't special order awesome
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
