So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
