I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
