your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
im holly from the hills drunk
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
