drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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