this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
