i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
