we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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