Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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