The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Randomize
