i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
