This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize