drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
