I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
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I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
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So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I love you.
Bad choice
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