But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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