He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
