Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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