i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
it's like iHOP with fire
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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