the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Did you pee in the oven last night??
is it fun? or sober?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
