Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
