is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
