I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
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the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
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Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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