Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Dicks are not precious.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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