I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize