btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
