I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
