He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
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