What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
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Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
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Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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