Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
