we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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