Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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