chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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