So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize