I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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