remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I love you. Go after that dick
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize