Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
look no pants
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
