He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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