This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize