He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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