I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
that's an acceptable place to lick
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
