Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
