quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
