have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
