I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
