discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
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