just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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