i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
