I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
